Fun with Phone Automation Systems

A recent conversation with the US Postal Service's automated phone system:

USPSAPS: Hello, and welcome to the US Postal Service's Automated Phone System. Please choose... (two second pause) I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please choose from the following (two second pause) I'm sorry I could not understand you. Please choose from the following options. Press 1 to track a package. Press 2 to ...

ME: (Press 1)

USPSAPS: Please enter your tracking number

ME: (Press 20 numbers)

USPSAPS: I heard ... (20 numbers) Is this correct?

ME: ("May I help you?"/sarcastic) Yessssss?

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (normally) Yes.

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: No.

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (slowly) Y e s.

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (angrily) YES!

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (Press 0)

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, zero is not a valid option. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (Wall E Gator) Yay-es!

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (like BIT from Tron) yes.

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (opera choir) Yesss!

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (demonic) YESSS!

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (Igor) (breathing) Yessssh mashter

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: (German) Ja!

USPSAPS: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Please say "Yes" or "No."

ME: *click*