R.I.A.A. Sues Man for Having Illegal Songs in his Head

Boston, Massachusettes, A 35 year-old man, Charles Heneman was sued today by the Recording Industry Association of America, for allegedly having hundreds of illegal songs in his head, including Britney Spears' "Toxic", Outkast's "Hey Ya", and "I want your Sex" by George Michael.

These nerual copies, called earworms, cause "billions of dollars a year in damage" to artists and the recording industry, according to R.I.A.A. president, Cary Sherman. "At least! I mean, it's devastating!" he noted. So far, the impact of earworms on music sales is unknown.

"We estimate half of those songs he didn't pay for. That's stealing. Plain and simple." said Cary. "I mean really. If I were to break into your house, and eat all your food, sleep with your wife while I plagiarize your daughter's book report, that would be morally wrong."

When asked if he had any songs in his head, Cary looked puzzled. "Of course not. I hate that crap."

If found guilty of Copyright Infringement, Charles faces $10,000 per song, and up to 5 years in prison.